Precious

Right after college, I had one huge life-altering experience. I’m not sure I set out to have it, but it found me nonetheless.

Instead of going straight to graduate school or working in part of town where the I would be on a lifetime career path, I choose to use my education degree in a title 1 school smack dab in the middle of the city of Birmingham, Alabama. They were handing out teaching assignments there like cheap trading cards, so my 22-year-old self was an easy in.

An experience on how segregation, poverty, and hopelessness still reign in the inner city could barely describe the semester I spent teaching 5th grade.

Every one of my 30+ students was on free lunch.

Few students had parents or grandparents who ever read the notes I sent home or checked their children’s homework.

Most read below grade level yet continued to pass through the system without any concern from the school administration for how wrong it was.

And, the beat of poverty went on . . .

But, with all of this in my background, I didn’t expect to be shocked when I viewed the film, Precious: Based on the Novel by Sapphire this weekend. 

But, I was.

Here’s the basic plot if you haven’t seen it:

In 1987, obese, illiterate 16-year-old Claireece ”Precious” Jones  lives in the New York City neighborhood of Harlem with her dysfunctional family; she has been impregnated twice by her father, Carl, and suffers constant physical and mental abuse from her unemployed mother, Mary. The family resides in a Section 8 tenement and subsists on welfare. After a visit from her high school principal, Mrs. Lichtenstein, Precious is invited to an alternative school where she hopes that her life can change direction.

Thus, the content of this film is not for the faint at heart. The story is intense, often painful to keep your eyes open, and provided such a heavy message of how despair and poverty go hand in hand.

Yet, the shock came for me after the film was over. Kevin and I were talking about what we thought about it on the car ride home. We had been warned by a friend to watch with caution.

And, still we had glazed looking eyes.

Kevin said: “It was too much to take in. I’m not sure what I thought about it.”

For me, I was bothered more and more as there was no huge moment of redemption as seen in Precious’ life. Yes, there were individuals who cared and how made major contributions, but what she needed, she never got: someone to take her in and not let her go. To break the cycle of poverty and poor education, she needed a larger than life figure in her life to make an extraordinary contribution. Why? Because Precious’ experience in life had been completely to the other extreme that nothing less than an extraordinary hand-up would do.

I was moved to think about how few extraordinary people are in the world. And how much our society, with all of its problems, needs ordinary people to rise up! We need ordinary people to fulfill a great purpose by embodying LOVE for those who define what the word need means.

I was also shocked by the honesty related by Precious’ mother to her at the end of the film. Thinking that if her mom  had been given the tools earlier on in life to talk about her feelings and work toward wholeness, then possibly some of the horrible things would not have happened to Precious.

Because when you are in cycles of poverty and abuse, there simply just isn’t time to think of much else. As much as I value the reflective spaces of my life, I was shocked in remembering that such is not a privilege all have. It is a gift I have been given as part of the world that “has.”

I still think about those 30+ former 5th graders in Birmingham. I wonder how they are doing in high school now. I wonder which ones have dropped out. I wonder about which of the girls are pregnant. I wonder if any of them will go to college. I wonder if my semester with them made any difference at all.

Though the story of Precious hit close to home, I realized yet again, it did not hit close enough.

My time in the inner city of Birmingham feels like a long faint memory now. And as much as I try to hold it close, films like Precious remind me there is much extraordinary work to be done. There is more remembering to do in my new hometown. And so many blessings that you and I need to rise up and begin to share.

Check out Precious. And, when/ if you do, be prepared. It might just stir you a little harder than you are ready for. . .

The Shack Anyone?

On Tuesday night, I had the opportunity to meet with the women’s group as I do from time to time. I was invited to lead the discussion of their recent book club selection, The Shack bringing out theological themes for conversation.

I agreed to this task with some anxiety, though because of my fear of popular books. It seems that once a book has hit the NY Times Bestseller list as The Shack has, it seems to take on a life of its own. In my opinion, this “life” a book takes on often comes in unhelpful ways.  Because it seems, the more a book seeks to speak for Christianity, the more damage it can do in oversimplifying faith.  (As if 40 days of The Purpose Driven Life is all you need or following Osteen’s Live Your Best Life Now will make you happy). So, I stayed away from this “fad” book as I have done many time before with similar texts.

But, now as a pastor of an entire congregation I feel more responsiblity to care about things and come to understand things that are meaningful to my people.  When several persons described to me life-changing moments with this book and then the women’s group wanted to study it, I broken down and purchased my own copy.

My experience with the book was surprising.

I was inspired as I learned more about the difficulties the author went through just to get the book published. Understanding that this text was rejected for print by several mainstream Christian publishers, I was more interested to read.

And, though William P.Young is not the most eloquent of an author and will not win any literary rewards for his writing style and the story line was “cheesy” at many points, I did celebrate how accessable he made the doctrine of the trinity. With Trinity Sunday every year being one of the most confusing observances for us to understand, after reading The Shack, I think we’ll think differently about it next year.

 The Genesis 1 passage, “Let us make man in our own image” that I’ve often preached on Trinity Sunday showing “community” within the life of God now might make more sense to those with an experience with The Shack. Young does a great time showing God as  relationship between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit that is beautiful, pure and perfectly intertwined as one God.

One member of our discussion on Tuesday night was bothered by how “human” God was made to be in this book. I totally understand her concern and applaud her desire to keep God as God and not just like us (as God is not). But, ultimately I think Young did the best he could to “humanize God” so that we could understand better and to remind readers at the same time that the personification of God to Mack (the main character) in The Shack was only for a period of time.

One of my favorite parts of the book (which I know evangelical Christians have the hardest time with) was this passage where Jesus is speaking to Mack in conversation:

Those who love me come from every system that exists. They were Buddhist or Mormons, Baptists or Muslims, Democrats, Republicans and many who don’t vote or are not part of any Sunday morning or religious institution. I have followers who were murders and many who were self-righteous. Some are bankers and bookies, Americans and Iraqis, Jews and Palestinians. I have no desire to make them Christian, but I do want to join them in their transformation into sons and daughters of my Papa, into my brothers and sisters, into my Beloved. 

I was not bothered by the “anti- institution” language in the book (though I still want to call myself a Christian) because I think it speaks to a great longing in our culture right now to be spiritual but not religious.

To be spiritual, is not anti-church. One of the best ways that a person can develop their own spiritual life comes in the setting of a loving faith community. People have been hurt deeply by religion (especially extreme religious expression) but yet have often held on a desire to connect with God and be a spiritually centered person. I see why Young was placing the emphasis on relationship rather than religious committment– this is what so many miss from an experience from a traditional church. 

The openness of Young’s book to spiritual exploration and connection with God is something I celebrate! Just I would add to those on the search, I hope they can find a place of spiritual home to help them on their path.

I can’t say it enough, as I mentioned it again at the women’s group this week, how happy I am to be a part of a community of faith I am so proud of in Washington Plaza, not your traditional church.  A community that takes seriously the theological wrestling found within a book like The Shack and takes them up in weekly Bible Study classes and spiritual formation groups– where God can be experienced in tangible ways every week.

In the end of our discussion, I think this is one of the strongest points that we came back to. No, we aren’t disciples of a popular book. But, we are people living in community together, hoping to experience a little more of our Triune God as we commit to the Christian path together.

When Someone Listens to You

Within the sermon today, I shared this beautiful poem about the gift a listening friend can be in our lives. I thought I’d share it again here. Cheers to all the friendships that surround your lives and mine! 

Finding What You Didn’t Lose by John Fox

When someone deeply listens to you

it is like holding out a dented cup

you’ve held since childhood and watching it fill up with

cold, fresh water

When it balances on top of the brim,

you are understood.

When it overflows and touches your skin,

you are loved.

When someone deeply listens to you,

the room where you stay

starts a new life

and the place where you wrote

your first poem

begins to glow in your mind’s eye.

It is as if gold has been discovered!

When someone deeply listens to you,

your bare feet are on the earth

and a beloved land that seems distant

is now at home within you.

Abiding Friendships

For the next two Sundays, I’ll be preaching about the story of Ruth taken from the lectionary readings this month. On Sunday, we’ll be examining Ruth 1:1-18. I am completely jazzed about this sermon because of one of the themes I see emerging from the text: abiding friendship.

But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. ¹⁷ Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” ¹⁸ When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

Friendship is a topic dear to me. I thrive on relationships and seek to pastor in a relationship driven way. And, Washington Plaza is full of many who feel this same way, I believe.

But, I think friendship is often a topic we talk so little about in life in general and in the church either. When is the last time you heard of a church doing a study on friendship or a sermon series on friendship? Why not?

This week, I’m seeking to take up the challenge.

While attending a Transitions into Ministry conference last spring in Indianapolis, I was a part of  break out session about friendship and the pastoral life. Much of our conversation centered around the fact that we all struggle with how to be a good friend in the midst of our schedules, life commitments, and interpersonal dynamics that can get a little crazy sometimes.  But, that friendships are the life of what will sustain our vocations long-term.

One of my favorite passages on friendship comes from Natalie Goldberg’s book on writing called Wild Mind: Living the Writer’s Life. In a chapter, she describes her coming to confidence about actually being a writer through a particular friendship saying:

“It is not about them saying yes or no; it is about encouragement and friendship. And it is about something deep and unspoken. When I was with Jim, I quietly vowed to continue, to carry on with this great thing we both loved. I didn’t stand there digging the big toe out of my right foot into the dirt and say ‘Gosh, Jim, well do you think even dumb old me can write?’ It’s more like you stand shoulder to shoulder, looking out at the vista, and the old writer points and says, ‘See,’ and you nod and smile knowing that the vista is good and sweet and you always want it in front of you.”

Abiding friendships are about common interests, yes.

There are about mentoring sometimes, yes.

But ultimately, they are about the seeing that special spark in the other that they don’t see in themselves.  And, out of love saying that there is nothing more you want to do than stick around to see his or her life through (and visa versa).

“Wherever you go, I will go.”

I need to be challenged to be this kind of friend and I’m hoping you’ll be up for it too. Looking forward to Sunday!

(And, FYI to the left is a picture of  Ruth and Naomi, bronze sculpture by Naomi Spiers).

The Wonder

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. . . . . When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? . . . .  O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

This was a psalm that I had on my mind all week as Kevin and I traveled through the Nevada and Arizona desert.

We were blessed to see so much of beauty in its most natural form that neither of us had experienced before.

I am now in love with the Grand Canyon and Sedona, AZ. I just couldn’t get enough of this region and am actually sad to be back in the confines of the city again. (When can we go back?)  

The following pictures are some of our snapshots of the wonder throughout our travels. We felt like we were living in a land of postcards. Maybe you could can see why . . .

A Moment to Remember

On Sunday we celebrated another baptism in the life of Washington Plaza Church. This time, it was a 6th grade boy, Will. This was a milestone for our congregation because although we do a lot of adult baptisms (which is unusual in many Baptist churches), we haven’t done a child baptism for a long while.

It was a privilege to work with Will and hear him profess faith for the first time.  Even though he looks scared in some of the photos, he was actually very excited about the his baptism!

Thanks to his mom for sharing these photos with all of us.

Moments like these are what ministry is all about! Now, it is the time for all of us to continue to help him in his discipleship process.

With Joy

Yesterday I finished a month-long sermon series on Paul’s letter of joy, Philippians.

Though this particular book is filled with some of the most beautiful lines of scripture, I mean who doesn’t love “I thank my God every time I remember you” or “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” or “My God shall supply all your needs according to God’s riches and glory in Christ Jesus” but never less, Paul is hard to preach week in and week out (note: the previous month I was in James, another New Testament letter).

It is especially hard for this preacher who likes stories. Stories are often what give your preaching “the hook” that it needs to relate to listeners whose lives are in the  middle of one story or another played out.

There were only so many times when I could say, “Paul’s in prison. He’s writing exhortation to a people that he loves. Paul is giving instructions on Christian discipleship . . . ” without getting tired of hearing my voice.

But, regardless, we (the congregation and I) got through it. And, in the end, I personally found myself taking in  lections of Philippians more than I normally would. So this made we wonder about you, congregation. What was your experience?

My own stop to pause came last week when I found myself dealing with this passage:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

At first sight of this text, my reaction was: “Oh my goodness, what am I going to do with that? This seems too pretty to preach!”

I don’t go into sermon writing for my own purposes, but what I often find is that God speaks to me as I’m learning how to speak well to the congregation.

But, the more I let in sink in, the more saw a gem in his passage. It is not just about the power of positive thinking or being Pollyanna like, but about discipline.

“Rejoicing in the Lord” and “thinking about excellent things” speaks to the need that all of us have to gain another viewpoint on our lives by looking at them from God’s perspective.  The practice of stopping more times than not and allowing our mind to not wallow in self-pity or doubt, but with joy!

Joy that comes as we think about all that is praiseworthy in our lives. Such takes practice and conscious effort, but is possible to do.

Last week, I sat in a couple of uncontrollable situations where I had more time on my hands than I wanted and nothing immediate in front of me to work on. So, I let my mind stay with the themes of my own sermon just to see what would happen.

What I found is that I really liked the process of “setting my mind on praiseworthy things” because as I did I was transcended into a place that is more beautiful than just the daily norm. 

Instead of complaining or worrying as usual about why this or that is not right in my life, I caught a glimpse of how some not so fun situations in my life might reach a happier place. And, I was able to give thanks for this, even though nothing has changed in the immediate future.

So maybe this is more of the point of Paul’s letter “with joy” is about. The discipline of mediation?

And, though I would have prefered to preach on almost anything else than this book I assigned myself for stewardship month (can’t wait to get back to the lectionary), I am glad I did. What I found is another perspective in my own life, from the gift of joy.

The Mystery of Marriage

Next week, I will be on vacation celebrating my second wedding anniversary with Kevin. It’s a yearly tradition of traveling this time of year that we hope to keep going for a long time.

This year, as I’ve grown more into the identity of what it means for me to be married, what comes to mind is the fact that marriage is mystery.

It is a mystery to think that two people growing up in a completely different spaces, and attending different educational institutions and spending most of their time in different cities could meet each other in the first place.

It is a mystery that after meeting each other, all of the proper things align to bring two people into a long-term dating relationship.

It is mystery that two very selfish beings (I’m talking about all of us here) would find a way to come together and say that “it is better to be together than alone.” And, would begin to make choices to include the other and put their partner first.

It is a mystery that two people would go as far as to make a covenant to one another saying when all the odds might be against them “til death due us part.”

It is a mystery that the daily process of self-sacrifice and love does and could last through the up and down moments of life.

It is mystery when two folks reach their 15, 20, or even 50 year anniversary and are not only together by legal paperwork, but are happy! And, are still working on the daily part of being the best person for each other (because it is something you have to re-learn over and over again).

Because none of these practices are “normal” to the human condition.

 I know there are folks would easily begin to argue with me about the “mystery” of it all, using theological langauge to  call this “God’s  providence” or “God’s will” or the process of being pre-destined to find “the One.”

These phrases don’t seem loving enough to describe the God I know when the world of relationships can be so cruel.

But, after journeying over the past two years not only in my own marriage, but alongside the relationships ups and downs of others in my life, I am simply left with love and marriage to all be a mystery to me.

It is a mystery because I just don’t understand it. Nor, do I think that one day I ever will.

When I watch dear friends and parishioners, who desperately want to be in a relationship,  hit dead-end walls with potential partners that just don’t see the beauty about them that everyone else sees, I just don’t understand. I am saddened by their long-term loneliness.

When I watch dear friends and parishioners, walk through difficult seasons of marriage where kindness, tenderness and hope of it getting better seem like a long past reality, I just don’t understand. I saddened by their intense pain.

When I watch dear friends and parishioners, walk through separation from a long time partner, where once loving stable homes are torn a part by the most ugly words “I want a divorce,” I just don’t understand. I saddened by their deep, deep loss.

And, yet while I acknowledge all of the despair that coveting for marriage or destruction of marriage brings, I am also filled with much joy. Because I believe the mystery of marriage is that it can also be very good.

When I look at the man who I took to be my husband two years ago next week, I am filled with a great sense of gratitude for this blessing in my life. I can’t imagine a more loving, more perfect partner to journey alongside. I am in awe of how beautiful God’s gift of Kevin is to me. 

It is not that we don’t disagree or get annoyed with each other (of course we do), but the mystery of marriage as I have known it is that there is a foundation of love and committment between us that sees us through. And, not only helps us “bear with each other” but find ways to really enjoy one another company.

Will I feel this way in 10 or 30 years from now? While I very much hope so, I don’t know.

Yet, in the mystery of it all, I believe God’s grace is  present and will be present in my life and your life as well.

God’s grace which is not explainable or logical, but comes often at the times that we least expect it. And does something with the good, the bad, and the messy parts of our lives that is more beautiful than we could ever imagine.

For this reason, I’ll keep working on my own marriage and performing weddings for others like the one I am doing tomorrow. With the hope that ’twas grace has brought me safe thus far. And, grace will lead us home.

Church Signs Battle Off

My cousin, Suzanne, sent me this yesterday, I believe after reading my post yesterday. I laughed when I read it  and thought you would enjoy it.

I could probably write blogs about this for a long time (but won’t, don’t worry), as the possiblities of damaging things that could be done are endless.

A bit of context: these two churches are right across the street from each other.

Church Signs

On my drive to work each day if I take a particular route, I pass by two unique church signs. Both churches are a part  prominent Mainline denominations. Both churches are in a part of town that commuters pass regularly and next to a Metro stop. The location of both signs speak loudly about what could be done by way of Christian witness in the DC area. But . . .

The first one reads:

“Come to worship on Sundays. Free Coffee. Free Eternal Life. Membership has its benefits.”

Though coffee is a very good part of life, putting it in the same sentence as eternal life seems sacrilegious. And, I wonder if I was a non-churchy person, would I come to church just for free coffee? Maybe if I was homeless?  But most working Americans can afford a cup of coffee every now and then (if not everyday), so telling me to come to church for coffee sounds unappealing.

Also, while I am a fan of church membership, equating church membership with my eternal home is not a direct correlation. First of all, I believe that truly only God knows what happens to an individual after death. (It is not my job as a pastor to judge this, sorry if this bothers you). But, even more so, I’ve known people who attended church for years and have not considered themself a person of faith.

So, free coffee and eternal life and church membership= three words not to be used together on a church sign.

Then, there is the other church I pass. It reads:

“If you are reading this sign, you are not in church. Come in.”

While, yes, what this church sign reads is true. If I am reading the sign, I am not in church. (Seems to insult one’s intelligence). 

What if I am on my way to church as I drive by (as I usually am)?

What about those who have to work to feed their families during the times that church is traditionally offered?

What about those who have had negative experiences with the institution of church and feel interested in coming back, but feel safer seeking God elsewhere?

Overall, this sign might lead me to believe that this church is not growing (though I am just assuming) so they are using a passive aggressive approach in an effort to increase their visitor traffic.

Though my church could always increase our visitor traffic . . . .

The big news around Washington Plaza this week is that we are getting a new sign board for the front of our church. Just last night, the Reston Association approved our new, updated look of our church sign thanks to the determined efforts of Outreach committee!  (Finally the issue about our color of lettering was solved. Gotta love Reston’s rules).

Once it is installed in a couple of weeks, we look forward to using it in ways that encourage our neighbors and publicize our events, but not to spread off-base theology or sayings like “you come or else.”

In everything we do, our church hopes to be welcoming and kind to any God brings to our doorstep no matter if they come in our building or not.

If you past by our building and see our sign, let us know how we are doing.